Here are the so called “exciting” updates:

New colors with aluminum finishes. Because, clearly, your life needed more shades of silver.
Wow… colors…

An Action button—a feature competitors added to their cheap models two years ago. Groundbreaking.

The 3nm A18 chip with a "2x faster neural engine." Great for absolutely nothing you’ll notice in daily use.

A camera control capacitive slider. Sure, it’s cool if you want to pretend you’re buying a new phone, but is it worth the extra cash?

The iPhone 16 is proof that Apple’s biggest innovation now is finding new graphics, events and bombastic announcements to sell you more of the same thing.

So, if you're into spending more money for a fresh coat of paint and a minor tweak, go ahead—Apple's counting on you. Literally.